We need to talk. ….
I remember the day we met. It was great. You were the most attractive thing I had seen in ages. I wanted to spend all my time with you, enjoyed getting to know you better and …uummm…playing around with your features. I got to know lots of your other friends and they got to know me. It was all fun.
But that was a few years ago. Now, I need to tell you that you have become a bit of a slut.
Your insistence on us making new friends all the time is annoying. It was great at the start to meet new people. But you just want me to continue making more and more friends, although you don’t seem that bothered with whom. Like yesterday for example… …what makes you think I would want to be friends with an Accountant from Romania? Do you not know me at all? Apparently not, as you suggested last week I make friends with myself!
I also don’t appreciate you going through my address book and suggesting that we contact everyone in it. I don’t even know some of those people very well, let alone have any possible ‘business’ connection with them.
And the more friends you ram down my throat, the more crap I get exposed to. If I see another ‘positive life message’, funny quote or get asked to do a really difficult maths questions I will scream (we have our weekly comedy and quiz nights at the self-help group for that sort of thing!). Of course, it also means that it is harder for my crap to get seen too as, just like me, people become immune to the endless stream of updates…..unless it is a picture of a cow and horse (it’s popularity speaks volumes for what you are becoming by the way!).
And whilst I appreciate you trying to make me look good, please don’t keep asking our friends to say nice things about me. It means nothing when we don’t really know each other and just makes us, and you, look a bit silly.
I don’t think I am alone on this. I have noticed that lot’s of our friends just don’t come round anymore. Maybe they just got fed up with it all too and don’t really see as much benefit in hanging out with you anymore? (By the way, the least you could do is to get rid of the stuff they leave behind, but for some reason you refuse to ever get rid of anything).
I get that the very point of your existence is to be as popular as you can. But it seems as though you are just interested in running a self-serving, noisy popularity contest.
I will stick around a bit longer. You still have enough going on for me to be interested. But I am not sure for how long. I already don’t visit you as much as I used to. Maybe it’s me – maybe we just need a break. Although, I am taking Google+ out next week…and if that goes well who knows ……I might leave you forever. Especially if you are going to charge me a lot in the future to get to your really good bits!